Should I take my husband’s surname at marriage?

Q: I am getting married on July 17th and have been trying to decide whether or not I should change my name, I have several reports but would like some advice in general. I would appreciate any help you can give me.

A: Changing your name can alter your life-attractions for better or for worse (as they say). If you like the way you feel and the way your life is going, I would not change my name. But if you have checked out your ‘new’ potential name on NumberQuest and it sounds very good to you – that is, you would love to be that person, then it may be something that your inner-being is choosing to ‘grow’ into and this marriage is a way to incorporate these new traits into your make-up.

Remember that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not taking on your husband’s name and in fact it can be a real way to draw out the best in the relationship because you have not symbolically merged your ‘self’ into his. There is plenty of merging that still goes on, and symbolically trading your family name for his is a very old tradition which still has a profound and very ‘real’ consequence.

Your last name (surname) represents your family ‘inheritance’ – all of the talents and traits bestowed upon you from your family lineage. The US is a patriarchal society so only the father’s lineage is valued, however, in the native american society the mother’s lineage is most highly valued. Many other societies use both parent’s family names. Keep in mind that by taking on your husband’s family name you are taking on his family ‘karma’. In other words, you will also have access to his family vibration of success or failure and while this won’t be strong enough to blank out your birth name vibration, it can attract experiences and ‘thought patterns’ (attitudes) that you may or may not want to claim as your own. So, I’d look into that for sure and in the same way, see if your own family ‘attitudes’ are something you want to keep around! Hyphenating both names is another option.


Category: Changed Names
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